Sunil and Hiral Wedding - August 5, 2006

Our dear friends and neighbors, Kishor and Jigisha invited us to attend the wedding of their son, Sunil, our first Indian Wedding. That sounded very much like a once in a lifetime opportunity and an offer that we could not refuse. Sunil would be marrying Hiral in Florida on August 5, 2006. We had met Hiral, a beautiful, kind, warm, loving girl and we were looking forward to having her as a friend and neighbor here in Oregon. We all had fun talking about and planning for the wedding for a year and the time had finally arrived for the big event.

The adventure began for Rocke and I on July 29th. On Saturday morning, we all gathered at Kishor and Jigisha's home for breakfast, followed by a pre-wedding ceremony. After the ceremony we were all treated to lunch before getting ready to attend another pre-wedding ceremony at the BAPS Mandir Temple in Tigard, Oregon.

The pre-wedding ceremony consisted of the Mandap muhurat, Haldi Pithi and the Grah Shanti.

Mandap Muhurat: The first of the ceremonies, the mandap muhurat symbolizes the beginning of the wedding. This was performed by the priest and the family of the groom, to get the blessings of Lord Ganesh, the god of beginnings. The priest and family pray to Lord Ganesh to remove all obstacles. Lord Ganesh is characterized by his elephant head and his ability to bring peace, truth, friendship and happiness to life.

Haldi Pithi: This is a specially prepared paste applied to the bride and groom before their wedding. During this ceremony, friends and relatives applied turmeric paste to Sunil's face, arms and legs. This symbolizes the cleaning of the body for the marriage.

Grah Shanti: This ceremony starts with GANESH STHAPAN, an invitation to Lord Ganesh to be present at this occasion. His presence is believed to ensure the smooth running of all the ceremonies and remove any obstacles and brings happiness and prosperity.

Rocke and I are still learning the many India traditions and have been very impressed with their traditions, ceremonies and the many many beautiful colors in clothing worn by both the women and men. It seemed as if every family member was involved with the big wedding.

After a few days of rest, we were all on our way to Orlando, Florida. On August 3rd,. Rocke and I had to be up at 2:00 am to get ready to leave for the airport by 3:00 a.m. With the all the excitement of the wedding, Rocke and I didn't get any sleep before leaving for the airport. After Ross dropped us off at the airport, the excitement we both were feeling was growing by the minute. Seeing Kishor, Jigisha and the many family members arriving at the airport made me realize we were actually on our way to enjoy an experience of a lifetime.

It was a long flight and there was still more to come before our day ended. The bride's family had arranged for shuttles to take us to our hotel where they had a tea before we went to our rooms. We were provided with drinks and snacks as we met and visited with family members and guest. Once in our room, we unpacked and got ready for the evening event, Mehndi Night. Rocke and I dressed and rush down to the event, not wanting to miss anything.

The Mehndi Ceremony is an important festive occasion celebrated by the bride's family and usually takes place one or two days before the actual wedding. The bride, female family members, and friends have henna painted on their hands and feet. Mehndi signifies the strength of love in a marriage so brides try to leave it on as long as possible!

Mehndi is the art of applying Henna on the body. Henna is a small shrub called Hawsonia Inermis, and is found in Iran, India, Pakistan, Egypt, and North Africa. The young leaves and twigs are ground into fine powder, then mixed with water and applied on the hands, feet to give them a reddish-orange color. The henna mud mixture can be applied in beautiful patterns with a paint brush or plastic cone. It is a beautiful form of temporary body decoration. Mehndi is a traditional form of decoration for both men and women in countries such as India, Morocco, and Pakistan. It is generally used for special occasions, particularly weddings.

Arriving for this ceremony, we were greeted by family and friends, dressed in very colorful clothes. Seeing the combination of all the colors was amazing. This night was designated as an Arabian Night, complete with dressing like an Arabians and a belly dancer. Those wanting to have their hands decorated gathered in the center of the room to start the festivities. Lots of eating, visiting, dancing and hand painting was going on. What a fun time! Around midnight, Rocke and I excused ourselves to return to our room so we could get some sleep and rest for the next day's festivities.

Friday was reserved as a relaxing day for family members and friends. Breakfast, lunch and tea was served before the big event that evening. Rocke and I slept in, had lunch and took a walk in the afternoon. Orlando was hot and humid, so why we decided to take a walk in the heat, I don't know. Even with the heat, humidity and sweat, I'll have to say that our long walk felt good. It also felt good to get back to the room and the air conditioning. Whew, did that air conditioning feel good!

On Friday evening, we were invited to celebrate a night of Sangeet Sandhya on the eve of the marriage of Sunil and Hiral. The Sangeet Party is an evening of musical entertainment. It is an opportunity to sing, eat, drink and dance the night away. Hiral surprised Sunil and everyone else by doing an amazing dance performance. My, that girl can dance! Then the bride's family put on a musical show for the bride and groom, making the evening a memorable one for all. Everyone had a great time eating, laughing, dancing and sharing a special evening together.

On Saturday, the big day of Sunil and Hiral's Wedding Day, had arrived. After breakfast, we dressed for the occasion and were shuttled to the Bahia Shrine Temple. Indian weddings are commenced with the procession of the Barat (the Groom's Parade), which is led by the Groom and his family and friends. The Barat served to notify the bride's family that the groom has arrived at the ceremony by playing loud music from the dhol (drum) accompanied by singing and dancing.

Sunil and all of his family and friends arrived at the pavilion at the back of Bahia Shrine Temple. Jigisha put a garland on Sunil, green leaves in his hands along with some money, rice, flowers and a coconut. Everything signifies good luck to bring to the bride. Sunil, his family and friends, arrived in front of the temple in grand fashion. He rode in the back of a convertible with his family and friends walking along beside the car, dancing and singing their way to meet the bride's family at the front of the temple. The groom and wedding procession were greeted by the bride's relatives and friends at the entrance to the temple, where both parties merged while singing and dancing. I wouldn't have missed this for anything. Everything we were experiencing was awesome.

Before entering the temple, Sunil was hoisted up onto the shoulders of his friends. Hiral then came to the front of the temple to greet her soon-to-be husband, and was hoisted up onto the shoulders of her brother, Mitesh. She then put a garland on Sunil, accepting him and letting him know that she was ready to come and be his life partner. This was when relatives of the bride stole the groom's shoes, adding mischief and humor to the ceremony. The grooms family then had to give the bride's relatives a gift to get Sunil's shoes back for him to wear.

We then followed the bride and groom into the temple for the wedding ceremony. As we entered the temple, Jigisha gave the bride's mother, Bhanu, a gift tray of sari's, gold jewelry, and a string of black beads (mangalsutra). During the wedding ceremony, Sunil put these beads on Hiral which signified he will take care of her.

A mangalsutra is an Indian symbol of marriage, consisting of a gold ornament strung from a yellow thread, a string of black beads or a gold chain. It is comparable to a Western wedding ring, and is worn by a married woman until her husband's death. Mangalsutra are called thaali or thirumangalyam in southern India.

Once the groom, Sunil, has been welcomed, the parents of the bride and the groom proceed to the mandap (the wedding structure where the ceremony takes place). Here they will begin the ceremony with a pooja (prayer) to Lord Ganesh (the remover of all obstacles).

Also at this time, Hiral's two brother's, Mitesh & Ankit, held an Antarpat (a long white cloth) in front of the groom to prevent the bride from seeing the groom when she enters. This was the sign that the bride would soon arrive at the Mandap.

The bride, Hiral, is escorted to the mandap by her Uncle Sajul and Uncle Raju. Once the bride had reached the mandap, the Antarpat is lowered and Sunil and Hiral will see each other. The then placed garlands around each other's necks. (Flower garlands are generally offered as a mark of respect and honor). During the ceremony, there were seven vows made.

The temple was decorated in beautiful style for the wedding. The ceremony began to take place while the guests were served something to drink. A short time after the wedding began, we were told that the wedding would be going on for another two hours or more and that we were welcome to go to the next room and enjoy some lunch. We had lunch and came back to our seats and sure enough, the wedding was still taking place. Amazing!

We found the wedding to be formal, but yet informal. During the wedding, people were visiting, eating lunch, etc., while the bride, groom and family members participated in the wedding ceremony. I had never seen anything like that before and enjoyed the formal, but yet informal atmosphere of the wedding.

After the wedding, we all returned to our room to get ready for a festive evening of celebrating the marriage of Sunil and Hiral with a formal reception. Shuttled back to the temple, we entered the hall for some cocktails and snacks, while wandering around visiting with the many relatives and friends who came from all over the US, Canada, India, London, and Africa, to attend the wedding.

After cocktail hour, we all gathered inside the hall for dinner and a festive evening with the bride and groom. During the evening, we were treated to speeches, music and dances performed by family members and friends.

What an awesome wedding! We thank Jigisha and Kishor for inviting us to join with them and their families for this special occasion. Ashok, Bhanu, Jigisha, and Kishor took great care of their relatives and friends for this special occasion. Rocke and I want to thank everyone for this memorable event in our lives and for making us feel so much a part of their big family.

NOTE: There is so much more I could write (I've already taking up a lot of space) about the wedding ceremony and the traditions. I still don't understand everything that happened during the wedding, but I can tell you that if you have never attended an Indian wedding and you get a chance, do it. It's an awesome event.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Indian weddings, I invite you do some research and learn more about this happy event. A few links to check out are: http://weddingsutra.com/us_index.asp , http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/India , http://www.parveenpaul.com/traditions.html and http://www.tourindia.com/htm/homepage.htm. .